Abstract
In their discussion of narratives of relationship, Gergen and Gergen (1987) discuss relationship difficulties, in which talk of a “we” or an “us” changes into talk of “I” and “you”—instead of “We must think about this,” the couple begin to say, “You and I must talk about it.” Such phrasings are often constituents of a “regressive narrative” in a failing relationship, they say (p. 283). What I want to do in this chapter is partially to agree—such a change often does indicate difficulties in an intimate relationship—but also to explore other than “narrative” reasons why this is so. However, as I feel that the problem of distress in personal relations cannot be properly understood until the problem of what, conceptually, a personal relationship is, has been clarified, that is the main task that I shall set myself in the analysis below, only to return to the problem above right at the very end.
The love story is the tribute the lover must pay to the world in order to be reconciled with it. (Barthes, 1983, p. 8)
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Shotter, J. (1992). What Is a “Personal” Relationship? A Rhetorical-Responsive Account of “Unfinished Business”. In: Harvey, J.H., Orbuch, T.L., Weber, A.L. (eds) Attributions, Accounts, and Close Relationships. Springer, New York, NY. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4612-4386-1_2
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