Trust and Betrayal in the Workplace: Building Effective Relationships in Your Organization

Trust makes the corporate world go round, contend authors Dennis and Michelle Reina, who have spent the past 15 years studying why we trust, why we stop trusting, and how we can rebuild and sustain trust once it has been violated. Their premise is simple and straightforward: businesses run on relationships, and trust is essential to the health and well being of relationships. Trusting workers, say the Reinas, are by and large happy workers. They are free to focus on their jobs rather than on managing dysfunctional relationships in the workplace. They feel good about themselves, their jobs and the companies they work for. They are energized, inspired and excited about what they do. They believe the channels of communication are open and are not afraid of making mistakes.

On the other hand, when trust has been violated or compromised, people may react in any number of negative ways. They may shut down, get angry, withhold or distort information, turn vengeful and, in some cases, become violent or destructive. When that happens, leaders (be they team leaders, supervisors, managers, directors or executives) need to know how to intervene and restore trustful relationships. These can be some of the more difficult issues leaders must deal with, not only because they are highly charged emotionally, but also because leaders, too, may feel conflicted about the factors that have created the situation.

To the Reinas' credit, they do not focus solely on instances when trust needs repairing. Throughout the book they make the case for actively creating and maintaining trust at all levels of the organization. At the end of each chapter they include exercises and tips for practicing positive behaviors that build and sustain trust. Even the subject headings for the major sections of the book – “Why trust,” “What trust means and how to build it,” “Where trust begins,” “When trust breaks down” and “Trust building in the field” – emphasize prevention through the building of trust rather than remedies for healing wounded relationships.

The heart of Trust and Betrayal in the Workplace is The Reina Trust and Betrayal Model^®, which schematizes their approach to diagnosing the behaviors that, when practiced, contribute to building and sustaining trust or, when neglected, result in feelings of distrust and betrayal. The model is divided into three major components, each with its own subcomponents. The first component is comprised of the factors that contribute to “transactional trust,” that is, trust that is established when the parties in mutual exchanges fulfill one another's expectations. These factors are trust of character, or contractual trust; trust of disclosure, or communication trust; and trust of capability, or competence trust. The second major component has to do with the things that affect our capacity to trust – both ourselves and others – and others' capacity to trust us. The Reinas have identified four “capacity for trust attributes”: realism, abstractness, complexity and differentiation. The third, and last, component deals with betrayal – how severe it is and how one re‐establishes trust in the aftermath.

Utilizing the model and practicing the positive behaviors it embodies will lead in time, the Reinas claim, to “transformative trust.” This is the stage at which the individuals within a group or organization are consciously and intentionally seeking to build and sustain trust, and are quick to remedy the situation when trust has been breeched. Groups or organizations that have reached this stage, they say, experience higher levels of energy, inspiration and productivity, buoyed by the positive, affirming atmosphere of trust. Also, they contend, individuals in such organizations are not afraid to take risks or make mistakes, because they are confident that, no matter what happens, they will be given the benefit of the doubt and an opportunity to make their case or admit their error.

The Reinas' practical, straightforward and easy‐to‐apply approach to such a volatile topic makes Trust and Betrayal in the Workplace a helpful and friendly advisor to human resource personnel or organizational leaders who must navigate the often murky waters of workplace relationships. Theirs is not an in‐depth examination of the psychology of trust and betrayal, an examination of the erosion of trust in today's corporations, or even particularly a litany of woes of the many betrayals that workers experience every day. They offer up their model as a proven, pragmatic approach for sorting out the mess, diagnosing the problem, prescribing the remedy and moving on. There are no heroes or villains here, just good folk who sometime go astray and hurt others. When that happens they need to be brought back into the community and peace and harmony restored.

At its core, this is very much a book about acceptance and acknowledging in oneself the flaws and the blind spots, as well as the strength and compassion, that one perceives in others. For the Reinas, remedying betrayal is about forgiveness and healing, not chastising the offender or getting restitution. Perhaps that is why the chapters on betrayal and rebuilding trust seem to be the strongest. In these chapters the book takes an unexpected turn away from the group or organization to focus on the feelings of the individual who has been betrayed. They posit that the only way to counteract the damage done by betrayal is to forgive the betrayer and let go. Groups, too, need to go through this process, say the Reinas, if there is ever to be real closure that will provide real healing and a chance for future health. It is a startling recommendation for a management book, with its strong message of personal transformation: “Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves.” Yet despite the echoes of Christine doctrine and the use of a rather formulaic seven‐step process, it stands as the most original and intriguing insight in the book – the one that lasts after you have set it down.

A particularly helpful aspect of the book is the way that the Reinas, through the case studies and client interactions they relate, subtly model preferred behaviors and ways of communicating. By showing rather than telling, they bring other voices into the book that bear witness to the efficacy of the approach the Reinas are advocating. By the same token, one of the drawbacks of the book, at least to my mind, is its reliance on popular psychology and the more superficial forms of cognitive therapy. The people presented are almost always having breakthroughs after responding to a few probing questions. Exclamation marks are plentiful. The speakers tend to proclaim in rather abstract terms the present barometer reading of their feelings or espouse the virtues of right behavior. The section on how to forgive oneself and others, for instance, is preceded by this anonymous epigraph:

I may forgive George, because the anger is wearing me down. But I will never forget the lessons I have learned – nor should I. They are too darn valuable to forget! (p. 134)

This is not how people talk in any organization I have every worked in. It has a kind of dcript‐like quality to it, overly processed and sanitized. After a while one wonders when are the Reinas actually quoting actual clients and when are they inventing voices to suit their ends.

Many of the exercises seek to have the reader regurgitate the material presented in the chapter rather than really probe deeper into understanding their own behavior or that of their co‐workers. Likewise, some of the “insights” about trust seem trite, however true they may be, such as that people are not likely to trust you if do not tell them the truth or do what you say you will do. They need to be said, but explained?

Trust and Betrayal in the Workplace was first published in 1999. This new edition includes an additional chapter of case studies, “Stories from the field,” but otherwise, there appears to be little new material. So why publish a new edition? The answer appears to be marketing. On the surface, the book offers the fruits of their years of consulting as encapsulated in The Reina Trust and Betrayal Model^® (note the conspicuous use of the register mark). Nonetheless, throughout the book the authors let it be known, both implicitly and explicitly, that use of their services (either as consultants or trainers) and other Trust Building^® (there is that register mark again) resources (a list of which is conveniently provided at the back of the book) is highly recommended. This rather blatant exercise of self‐promotion throws an unfortunate pall of dubiety, if not distrust, across what is an otherwise humane and helpful text.

This tendency toward self‐promotion sometimes manifests itself in odd and tasteless ways. For instance, the authors speak of themselves in the first person most of the time, but refer to themselves in the third person when relating how they were hired by a client. Someone suggests they bring in “Dennis” or call “Michelle.” The most egregious instance occurs in one of the case studies. The entire “case study,” which goes on for more than six pages, consists mainly of various people seated around a table talking about how wonderful “Michelle” is and how amazing her results are, etc. One cannot help wishing that the Reinas had shown a bit more restraint or, at the very least, confined the advertising to the preface or appendix.

Despite these flaws, however, for those grappling with issues of trust in their groups or organizations, or for those seeking a more positive approach to managing people, one could do worse than Trust and Betrayal in the Workplace. The Reinas have an ambitious vision of organizations, guided by enlightened and compassionate leaders, that thrive because they help their employees thrive. Although their topic is trust and betrayal, their goal is to minimize the damage betrayal can cause and emphasize the positive consequences of trusting. It is an approach that is likely to appeal to the reason as well as the heart of leaders who care about their people and their companies, and who want both to succeed.